Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Mass murder & cleaning up afterwards !! :o)

I've gradually been losing the will to live these past few weeks :o( 

The rain has brought nothing but slugs & snails, weeds & knee high grass. The slugs & snails have been like the Armada crossing my garden path to get to the flowers & plants - late one evening last week, I counted 78 snails coming out from under the ivy, across the path, marching on towards their goal. Gawd knows how many others there were further up the garden in my veggies & elsewhere. I didn't have the heart to look.

The weeds have more than doubled in size, amount & strength. I nearly strangled my stupid self doing battle with some bind weed that had really taken root amongst my Aquilegia & Hemerocallis.  As I grabbed a handful to pull out, it not only decided to fight back, it had a secret weapon. A great big fat, ugly slimy slug hidden in its leaves, that decided - the ONE TIME I wasn't wearing my gloves - to look me square in the eye & slither on to my hand !!!! SCREEEEEEEEAM !!!!!

 I rushed straight indoors, scrubbed my hands with antibacterial hand wash 5 times - yes, FIVE times - & then had a shower as well !! A bit OTT ? Maybe. But once you've had a slug touch you, you never feel clean again. Or maybe that's just me !! :o) Shudder !!!

My veggies have either been eaten by snails, drowned or gone to seed overnight :o( I'll be lucky to salvage anything except raspberries. THEY have the survival skills of a . . . . . a . . . a great survivilling survivor !! :o)  Not only are they bursting out of the fruit cage, they are tunnelling under the paths & popping up in flower beds & the veg plot as though they were escaping from Colditz :o)

  I'm seriously beginning to think that my garden is being used by aliens, cleverly disguised as raspberries, weeds, slugs & snails, as a training camp for taking over the world.  I keep expecting to look out the kitchen door & see slugs abseiling down the conservatory windows & snails trying to fit Army issue backpacks on top of their shells :o) In the background will be raspberries in tanks & weeds in full combat gear, marching ever onwards, cutting down any lovely flowers or veggies in their way !!

This rain really has a lot to answer for.

Although the sun is shining today - well, it WAS up to half an hour ago - I still can't cut the grass because the ground is wet & squelchy under foot.  You can bet your bottom dollar/pound/euro (insert currency of your choice)  that by the time it's dried out enough, before I have chance to get the lawnmower out, the rain will decide to come back & have another go.

BUT !! *What about the mass murder ??* I hear you cry !!  Well, hold on to your hats. Confession time !!

No, I haven't shot Shaun - those of you who know us, know how often I say it'd be easier just to shoot him - I've been on a snail & slug killing spree !! Oh yes, I will not let those!"**%$?*!  get my garden goodies without a fight. They may have won the battle, but they haven't won the war. Yet . . .  .

I can't use slug pellets because Grandsons 1a & 1b are often here, playing in the garden. We also have foxes & hedgehogs, as well as loads of birds & I don't really know how pellets would affect the wildlife. Eggshells & sharp sand haven't worked & as we don't drink, we haven't tried the beer trick - waste of good beer anyway, I think :o) - so I'm afraid I've been left with no alternative than to use salt. Yep, plain old table salt, the cheaper the better :o) I sprinkle it on the paths & on any slug or snail that tries to escape my evil clutches !!  They only sizzle for a minute . . . .

The next morning, the clearing up begins.  Bodies lie scattered across the battlefield  as far as the eye can see. Some have almost made it home, just to be cut down on the final leg, others have scarcely left the safety of the ivy before it's *Goodbye cruel world !!*

But do I care ? Do I eckerslike !!!! I spent a lot of time early in the year preparing the garden, sowing seeds, planting out, weeding, watering, feeding & tending everything. And I did NOT do it for the benefit of all the flippin' slugs & snails !! What good do they actually do in the garden ? I mean, if they ate the weeds, then fair enough, but do they ? No. They are in cahoots with the weeds & all they want to do is hide amongst them & pounce on any poor, unsuspecting gardener who happens to cross their path. Well, they've got a fight now, cos I am armed with salt & I ain't afraid to scatter it !! So there !! :o)

And on that note, here are a few pics of some flowers that HAVE managed to survive the rain, the wind & the slugs & snails :o)

This orange lily looked lovely against the brown fence. It was a real splash of sunshine :o)

Hollyhocks that smack me in the face every time I come out of the greenhouse :o)

Sweet smelling pink carnations :o)

Green plums :o) Not very good as eaters, but fab in a crumble with lashings of thick custard :o)

A beautiful, delicate poppy, one of my favourite flowers.

Part of my poor, overgrown, wet, soggy, neglected garden. The daisies are out in force this year, taking over the grass.

Even though the garden is somewhat overgrown, this is one of my favourite photos. I love the poppies against the marguerites, it just looks all meadowland-ish to me :o)

Let's hope the weather forecasters are right & that summer will be here next week. It seems to have been a very long  & very wet Spring :o)


  1. Just Spent a while looking at your meadowland-ish piccies. I cant get into our garden because it involves steps so I love looking at piccies of other peoples.I bought some foxgloves as plugs last year and they are about to flower for the first time. I can still remember the first time I saw a foxglove I must have been 8 years old strange how things stick in your mind I could take you to the exact spot fifty years later.

  2. WOW ..... Battle of Nethercourt 2012 eh? Beware low flying arrows and salt. I reckon every self respecting hedgehog will be so full of slugs that they just can't clear them all up ...... or maybe they don't like salted slugs LOL
    Even reading of you touching a slug has given me the shivers.

    We are trying to decorate the garage paintwork and whenever there is a dry spell there are so many jobs to fit in that it is going to take a long time.

  3. Aw Pat thanks so much for the laugh, I now have a mental picture of snails and slugs abseiling and with parachutes!!!! So funny. I don't blame for the mass murder, rotten slugs and snails :( I don't think anyones gardens are looking good this year, mine kind of looks tatty and bedraggled, bit like me really lol.
    Poor Shaun, I will tell ', ok I won't lol xxxxxxx

  4. It's a tactical manouver to take all the cheese. The slugs are working for the mice who are in cahoots with the rats. That's why I get so many in my kitchen.

  5. Also, the word cahoots is the best word in the english language.